Molly STILL Isn’t a Toxic Friend -Insecure S4E5
The word “toxic” has been quite a buzz word since 2018. I often roll my eyes when people throw it around on social media. Its been so overused by people who choose to not properly work through conflict or lack the emotional intelligence to effectively articulate their feelings.
Toxic has become shorthand for behaviors we simply don’t like in other people. Haphazardly labeling people as toxic because they do something we don’t agree with shows a lack of self-accountability.
We’ve all behaved poorly in other people’s stories. Does that necessarily make us all toxic? No.
Don’t get me wrong, there are absolutely instances when people in our lives exhibit toxic behaviors but they are usually done with the INTENTION and it hurt others or to elicit the desired response from others.
When it comes to Molly and Issa, of all the Insecure related posts I noticed on social media, only ONE could see past the toxic bandwagon commentary. The post read, “Molly Isn’t a Toxic Friend but she is flawed. So is Issa. I said what I said.”
I was so relieved that the OP was brave enough to go against what everyone else was saying that it compelled me to write this blog at 5 AM KST.
Reasons why Molly isn’t a Toxic Friend
Like I said before, toxic behavior is done with intentions to hurt others for the sake of your own selfish desires. When you think about Molly as a friend to Issa, do you really believe anything she has done was with an intention to hurt her BFF? Molly has been Issa’s ride or die since day one. She has never left Issa’s side and she has gone out of her way to not only show up for Issa when she needed it but she has protected Issa over and over again. This isn’t a toxic friend.
Lack of communication will destroy a relationship. Molly has been hurt and she isn’t effectively communicating that with Issa. Issa isn’t even the space to hear Molly anyway. Issa’s focus is on Issa. Molly’s blow-up is what happens when you let things fester.
We (not me but yall but for the sake of solidarity I’ll include myself) have conveniently chosen to overlook Issa’s behavior in the whole breakdown of their relationship. Issa has been passive-aggressive in her communication with Molly.
Just as we like to point out the Molly isn’t supporting Issa’s growth, Issa isn’t supporting Mollys. Let us not forget all of the times Issa refers to Molly’s previous relationship tendencies when Molly has absolutely done things differently with Andrew. Issa has repeatedly shown how she only sees the old Molly and continually throws it in her face.
Issa sees her BFF and automatically assumes she knows how things will play out with the Asian bae, not even giving Molly the benefit of the doubt. Molly recognizes this so when she does get it right in her relationship, she doesn’t even bother turning to Issa to celebrate the win.
Break in communication.
Molly’s hurt is valid. However, Molly’s decision to address that hurt, in such a public manner wasn’t a good move. The conversation they needed to have would have better served them both if it was done privately- and without ego. We all make mistakes.
This impulsive move is what I believe cost Molly her relationship with Issa. I’m sure we have all let emotion get the best of us leading us to act impulsively. That doesn’t make us all toxic.
I love Issa as much as I love Molly so I feel like I can remain fairly objective when observing their behaviors.
Like Issa, Molly has been having a hard time seeing the new and improved Issa.
Understandably.
Issa has had a lot of ideas that she never fully committed to for one reason or another.
I, for one, would have helped Issa if I were Molly.
But, I am not Molly.
While that wouldn’t have been my choice, I understand why it felt like a good choice for Molly. We all have a tendency to say what we would do involving other people’s situations but we are not living in their reality. We are not feeling what they feel and we don’t have the same vantage point as them at that moment.
Molly has vouched for Issa in more ways than one, in support of Issa’s ventures. She’s utilized her professional connections, finances, and etc to support Issa. Molly is a good friend.
While maybe motivated by hurt more so than personal development, telling Issa no is Molly finally implementing the boundaries she needed to. That’s what I saw.
Those who benefited the most from others not having boundaries are usually the most offended when boundaries are finally set. All Issa could see was why set this boundary now? When I REALLY need you?!
The bottom line is, as a person that was always on the receiving end of Molly’s poor boundaries, there’s never a good time to put parameters in place because it’s always about them.
Let’s also note that Issa only contacted Nathan because she needed something from him. Issa was willing to sacrifice her own sense of self and turn back to someone who really hurt her, out of desperation. I am not judging her decision to do so. The success of the block party was that important to her.
I want to end this thing here but my last note is that of Molly being upset at Issa for going around her to get Andrew’s help.
I mean, looking from the outside, we want to say Molly is out of line but for the sake of being petty, I have to remind you all that not too long ago, yall were all on social media reposting the quote that said something along the lines of, “don’t talk to my man if you and me are beefing.”
How is that any different for Molly?
