Black Women in Leadership Reflections

I’ve been reflecting a lot lately, thanks to school, about the nuanced experiences black women face as leaders in the work place and how I wanted to share with you some writings for class that express my thoughts. I am limited on the amount I can write in the reflections and the reflections are not graded on any format- its rather a tool , somewhat like a personal journal, for us to truly take the time to reflect on the content the students have been introduced to that week and how the topics show up in real life experiences.

Ironically, taking this deep dive into this particular topic can from a few articles I haphazardly collected for a group project in an Ethics class. It wasn’t until the very last minute (don’t judge me) when I took the time to actually read the articles that I felt like I was reading my life on paper. This opened the flood gates for me and I started to recognize how some of the points discussed in the articles were playing out right in front of me. The issues black women in leadership face was also discussed in a different class where a young, black woman leader in academia was interviewed and the things she said blew me away. Simultaneously, my work life seemed to be imploding and everything- every-single- thing I was reading about I was experiencing and I couldn’t keep it together. It’s a difficult pill to swallow- the realities of black women have to face- even when we’ve been so conditioned to just accept it as a way of life- it still deeply hurts to recognize the oppressive systems we are up against everyday. And the thing is, once you learn these things, its hard to not recognize them as we move through life and its even harder to not be bothered by them and speak out against these injustices.

So, take a minute to read through this short reflection I wrote, and tell me what you think. How do you feel? Black women, share your experiences with me because I know I am not alone.

Also, if there are some typos or whatnot, don’t judge those either. I don’t spellcheck my journals 🙄

I felt like I've been waiting all week to have an opportunity to talk and process the challenges I face as a black woman who encourages anti-racist action from my coworkers and leaders, and anti-racist policies from the agency overall. In class I spoke about feeling like I am alone on an island because it's how I've felt for weeks in the workplace. Then, I had to work on a group project about leadership and I attempted to address some the issues black women face in leadership roles. Every article I read felt validating for me in knowing I wasn't alone in my experiences. It was also equally disappointing because outside of DSW classes, there are real consequences for speaking out against oppressive systems whether its in the workplace or not. All of those consequences can negatively impact my wellbeing but in the workplace, those consequences are oftentimes aligned with personal bias and stereotypes- all in which, I have to fight against. It's exhausting and sometimes it feels like the better option is to just, "play the game." "Play the game," in the world of black people (which advised quite often), means to just smile, and deal with the injustice, without making too many waves until you get to a position in which you have the authority and power to address issues of injustice. And I understand WHY playing the game is considered an option because, as black people, its a survival tactic. During slavery and even Jim Crow era, "playing the game" meant having your live spared so you COULD have the privilege to keep experiencing the same sh*tty (is this appropriate? ) conditions you were offered. But, why do we have to keep playing this game at the detriment of our lives, mental health, finances, etc.? Why is there more negative attention toward black women who choose to not play this game anymore than there is at the people who created the game in the first place. The game is rigged. We can play this game all our lives and still never have the opportunity to be in a position of authority and/or power to change systems... even with a DSW. The reality is black women can have all the education, skills, training, knowledge in the world (and a lot do), and it is still not enough.